I dreamt about you seventeen times last night.
The first 9 were fleeting, the last 8 stuck,
Into my memory, like the way you stuck to the depths of my heart.
And I miss your grace, I dream about coming after you.
But I’m not used to having to swim the ocean on my bedroom floor alone.
And I think the water is getting deeper.
So I’m counting what you’ve left behind like a clock counts seconds.
And I can still feel you here.
I can feel your name crawling up my thoughts.
It moves slowly and creeps into every wound its holder left behind.
And the the music you loved whispers to me.
I swear I can see you in the notes. Swirling, you were just a line with no guide.
You never needed a guide.
But I did. I do. I need a counselor. I need a teacher. But maybe it’s because I just need you.
Because the water’s coming up and I can’t get to the door now. I’ve forgotten, I never learned how to swim.
And the floorboards ask about you. They creak your name. They ask me where you’ve gone.
I tell them I don’t know. I tell them what you told me to say.
And I swear you told me enough times to fill a book.
And NO, I won’t follow you. I would never be able to find you.
But I thought you’d stay until that clocked stopped counting seconds.
But its still ticking. And all traces of you are gone.
But I should have known.
Because being friends with you was just being comfortably terrified.
And now…I’m struggling to make sense.
"Nostalgia is a
that insists things
than they seemed."
Jimmy & Tina in:
2000 [start Weekend Update]
2009 [start Late Night with Jimmy Fallon]
2014 [start The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon]
(Source: feynificent, via thisisthemethatiliketobe)